“You don’t need a doula you have me”
“I don’t need a doula I have my mum”
First of all, isn’t it just fantastic that your partner friends and family love you so much that they are offering to be there for you and support you for the birth! Only thing is, sometimes, these people may not be someone you want in the room while you are giving birth.
Or some people can become so engulfed with everything happening that they have a hard time separating themselves from that and perhaps even try to save you from the intensity of it all. This would get in the way of them being able to be your solid and level headed support person you need, helping you to follow your birth choices. (Yes, sometimes this means dads too.)
What if your mother comes to the birth carrying unresolved birth trauma which undermines your power and self belief during this very precious time? Perhaps they just need someone to give them a break and reassure them that things are going well with you, tell them they are doing a great job supporting you?
It doesn’t mean we have to kick your mum or partner out of the birth room altogether – of course not!
Doulas ,mums and partners can make a great team!
If you’re keen to have them with you, I can help them play an active role in your labour to help you feel comforted and less pain. Doulas are knowledgeable about how birth works and are up to date about all the medical terms and interventions. We can bring a more positive energy to the birth and hold the space. We also have lots of handy, non invasive tools to help you with pain relief in labour or help a stalled labour to progress more.
Plenty of well-meaning friends and family do often seem to disappear shortly after baby is born too. Whereas your doula has packages that include, coming home after baby is here to help you with housework, give you a break to nap or shower or for simply to take you out for a ‘mum date’ go get your nails done or a massage, because self care is SUPER important for new mothers.
Partners will also want some time for personal space and to catch up with sleep.
This is something I offer as standard for all my clients (4 visits rather than the usual 1 or 2),as I believe the postnatal period is just as important as the birth.
So hopefully, the next time you hear someone say they hired a doula or are looking into hiring one, you applaud them for taking the step and acknowledging that they are worth it! Pregnancy/Birth and postnatal support from doulas should be the norm, not the exception